Cattenberg just got home from a night out. I am under the distinct impression that he is making a favourable impression on the ladies right now. I like this. Cattenberg is awesome, and just because we don't hit it off that way is no judge on any of his awesomeness. I am glad Cattenberg is getting attentions, I think both of us have felt a little crap about ourselves in that way for some time now, and he deserves more than that.
Actually, the way I'm saying that makes it sound like I don't believe I do. That's not how it is. Not really. At times my opinion of myself is low, but I'm mostly more rational than that. But whether that kind of thing would be nice or not, I'm not sure if or how anything like that would fit into my life right now. There is a lot of studying over the next three years, quite aside from the beauteous Kittencat who dominates my life as well as my world - "Do this mummy, do that mummy" - quite frankly the prospect of meeting anyone who would want to fit around my life is low. Again, that sounds negative, but it doesn't worry me. I have lovely friends, and my capacity for going out is limited, I'm pretty sure that the time I do have will be best served with my friends, and going to interesting music things and art things. Besides, I have a small little bed hog that snuffles and snores and strangles me in my sleep proclaiming "I've got you Mummy, arh!" before contentedly rolling back over and snoring loudly. Not withstanding time, I don't have room in my bed for other people.
The only come ons I get are from drunk anonymous men offering to befriend my child in order to get into my knickers which smacks of a) extreme desperation, b) inordinately drunk and would run a mile as soon as they sober up, or c) dubious intentions. It's not normal for someone to be more interested in you because you've got a kid, and it's kind of freaky when you get that impression. Given that it'd be unlikely that I'd meet anyone who either wouldn't consider me a mistake or would in fact be one themselves, I'm taking full advantage of not caring about these things and focusing on Kittencat and myself. It might happen one day. But for now I'm just planning a summer of gardening, yoga and craft with KC, with occasional gigs and nights out courtesy of Cattenberg's babysitting skills, and being excited and happy that other people are reminding Cattenberg how awesome he is, and that women are seeking him out. He is great, and deserves to be reminded of that.
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