A shift in perspective perhaps from the norm. Louisa Alcott wrote "be worthy love, and love will come". Love will come. People live their lives under the assumption that this means romantic love, or even platonic love. But love externally sited. That if you live well, people will love you. To this mind, if you do not feel loved by others, you are obviously not trying hard enough, and that you just have to sacrifice a little more, give a little more of your soul in the quest of being considered worthy. Then love will come.
Only it won't. By permanently seeking the approval of others you are of ever decreasing worth to yourself. Maybe no one else will ever love you. Maybe no one else will ever value you. Maybe you will spend the rest of your life never connecting with anyone ever again. Think about that for a moment. Does it fill you with dread? Or are you calm to your core? I think once that would have scared the living bejesus out of me. Maybe. I'm surprisingly peaceful these days. I value the people around me immensely, but in many ways how they feel about me is less important than how I feel about them. The value I place on them is independent of the value they attribute to me, and doesn't need reciprocation. I do not value you in order that you validate me, I do not love you in order that you love me. My feelings are internal, my own. Be worthy love, and love will come. But it might surprise you when you realise it comes from within.
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