In my world a spade is a spade and I may hit you over the head with it regularly in the interests of our friendship

There are points when you realise that people are lying to you, or themselves, or both. In many respects, it is irrelevant if they are lying to themselves; what is relevant is the negative impact that both aspects can have on you, if you let them. I tend to take people at what they tell me. I expect truthfulness, directness, I try to live my live with a level of honesty and openness that I imagine others do too. I like forthright, brutally honest conversations, they amuse me immensely. I am no enigma. I want nothing from anyone but to be as honest and open with me as I am with them, yet I am reminded, too often, that can be too much to ask. When people hold aspects of themselves back from their interactions, it creates barriers, conversations are forced, trying to peep over walls instead of open views of shared knowledge. It's more work than it should be. More work than I need.