Bugger, that's hypothetically depressing

I've been looking over my finances for the coming year, and have come to the conclusion that over the next couple of years it would be wise to decrease the amount I go out, which is already pretty rarely. This sparked the hypothetically depressing realisation that, were I ever to become interested in a boy (AND if that interest were mutual, AND that interesting interested were available to be interesting - these qualities, alas, likely rule out the prospect before we get to the main point), regardless of whether I have the time (I don't), or the inclination (none that meet the afore mentioned criteria), I simply do not financially have the capacity to go out with boys. For at least two years. Even on the cheap. Sorry chaps. However a cheap date you may be, you are not cheap enough.